Of insecurities and reassurances
by immature-girl
Summary: In which Sherlock is insecure, Donovan makes it worse, and John comes to the rescue.


Fic written for **daefics **for the v-day's challenge at jlc.

Her prompt was: "Set Season 1, Ep 1 (or so), Sherlock and John meet but become boyfriends straight away. Their relationship comes out when Anderson and Sally give Sherlock a hard time at a crime scene (maybe hassling him about how he'll never date anyone), and John shuts them up by sharing an intimate moment with Sherlock - kissing him right in front of them, pet names or such. Something tender."

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><p>Contrary to popular belief, Sherlock Holmes did get scared. And his greatest fear was to lose John Watson.<p>

They were in constant danger, he was aware of that. They chased criminals for a living, after all, and he already had his own list of enemies he had made over the years. So there were many ways in which John could get hurt, that may inevitably lead to his death. It would hurt, and it would fill him with guilt, but he would come to accept it. It wasn't as if he expected himself to live a particularly long life, either way, so he would reunite with John soon enough afterwards, and John would wait for him. And it would be alright.

But there was another scenario. John could also _choose_ to leave him.

They had been in a relationship for a month now. That night, after killing Jefferson Hope and going for Chinese, they had gone back to the flat and shagged each other senseless. And things were fine. More that fine really, Sherlock could admit. He loved John, and he was almost certain John loved him back, but they never talked about it. They had simply settled into this new relationship by an unspoken agreement and that had been it. The only rule, imparted by him, was to keep it a secret, as not to attract unnecessary attention.

John had agreed without protest, thinking it was a matter of privacy. Granted, he was a private man, but there was nothing he wanted more than to scream to the world that this amazing man was his, that the sociopath had found someone who wanted him.

And that was exactly the problem.

If people knew, they would try to drive John away. They would remind him everyday that Sherlock had no feelings, that he was a psychopath, and that he didn't care about anyone. And eventually, John might start to believe them. He wasn't the most affectionate of people, and hardly boyfriend material, so why would John stay with him? Keeping it a secret was for the best. And he wouldn't lose John.

He couldn't.

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><p>"Freak. Is your pet not around today?" asked Donovan as Sherlock got closer to the crime scene.<p>

"_John _will be joining us later. He was busy. Now move."

She huffed, but stepped aside. "Or he ditched you. Maybe he finally came to his senses," she muttered.

Sherlock repressed a flinch, pressing his lips tightly together, and simply walked past her.

The crime was merely a six, but there hadn't been a case in weeks, and he was starting to get desperate. He examined the body, all his thoughts focused on the case now that he was alone, until he heard footsteps behind him.

"Oh, thank god you're here. Please tell me you have something, I was supposed to meet my wife half an hour ago," Lestrade said.

"In the middle of work?" Sherlock asked distractedly, arching an eyebrow.

"I asked to leave earlier, so we could celebrate. She loves Valentine's Day, I was going to take her out for dinner," he explained.

Sherlock snorted. "Boring."

"Well, of course it would be to you," Donovan chimed in, getting closer. "It's not as if you had someone to spend it with; who would go on a date with a sociopath?"

"Donovan; enough." Lestrade warned her. He turned back to Sherlock but was cut off by his phone going off. He looked at it and grimaced. "My wife. Give me a second." And he left the room.

"John must be out with one of his girlfriends, isn't he? That's why he's not here," Donovan said, a grin on her face.

"And I assume Anderson took the day off to be his wife?" He saw Donovan's smile disappear, and satisfied, he turned back to the body.

"John would be moving out soon, then. I don't think he would be staying with a sociopath like you if he could have better company. Someone whose idea of a romantic date wasn't poking at dead bodies and chasing after criminals."

Sherlock turned to her, his shoulders tense. "Is there a point to your ramblings, or are you merely being annoying for the sake of it."

Donovan grinned again. "Oh, hit a nerve, haven't I? You're a freak, you couldn't possibly think John would stay-"

"That's enough."

They both turned towards the voice. John was standing at the doorway, his eyes fixed on Donovan. His face was impassive, but Sherlock could see a slight twitch on his left eyebrow, which usually appeared when John was angry. Donovan must have sensed something too, because she took a step back, startled.

"You have no right to talk to him that way. You should be thankful he takes the time to come to your crime scenes, since you're all clearly too incompetent to solve a case by yourselves, so I will kindly ask you to _back off_."

"You can't be serious. He's-"

"Don't." John cut her off. "He deserves your respect, at least."

"John, honestly, it's fine." Sherlock said, slightly bewildered by his behavior.

Finally taking his eyes off Donovan, John turned to look at him, his gaze softening. "No, it's not."

John walked up to him and pulled him down for a kiss, careless of Donovan's sharp intake of breath.

"I love you," John said. He glanced one last time at Donovan's shocked expression and said, "We're leaving. He will text Lestrade the details later."

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><p>"Did you mean it?" Sherlock asked later that night, once they were curled up in bed; John's arm wrapped around his waist.<p>

"Every word."

Sherlock drew out a sigh and pulled John more tightly against him. He hid his face in the crook of his neck, pressing a soft kiss to his pulse point.

"I love you, too."

He felt John's smile against his temple.

"I know."

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><p><strong>Author's notes:<strong>

I'm sorry if this isn't as fluffy as you wanted it to be. I had a hard time with this prompt, mostly because I had a million ideas for it, and I couldn't decide which way to go with it. I hope you like it, though

Please let me know if you see any mistakes. Enjoy x


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